Thank you for your question, Greg. Getting questions like that is the reason I chose to post my work on Medium as I write about the process of reconciliation. I can’t think of everything, so I depend on respondents to help me see what I might be missing.

The article you read is part of a larger piece called the Road to Reconciliation. I’m attempting to describe the journey both the victim and the offender take from enmity to peace. I believe they both start at the same place: feeling like a victim. Therefore, by the time the offender gets to the point of writing a statement of responsibility, he has already worked through his victimization, seen the context, and realized he has something to do with it. Many try to rush the process. For example, if someone gets in trouble for beating his kid, no one will want to hear about how the child abuser feels like a victim. They will want him to take responsibility immediately. He may do so to get them off his back, but it would not be as meaningful as if he had gone through the process.

So, I guess I would recommend that you look at the larger piece called the Road to Reconciliation. What you read was an excerpt. You may still feel I missed a step or two. Let me know if that’s the case.

Another thing to keep in mind about What to do with the Guilt is that there I only described the offender coming to grip with his offense himself. It’s a whole other thing for him to go to his victim or other parties and take responsibility. I haven’t begun to write about that yet.

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Mental Health Counselor and Writer

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