If you’ve been following along, by this point, you’ve come a long way towards peace with the things that have happened to you. You have connected with feelings you had previously turned away. You’ve recommitted to values. You’re protecting yourself. You’ve renounced revenge in all its forms. You’ve decided not…
The addiction, the madness, the lying, the cheating, and the selfishness have just done too much damage. Your relationship is crippled and you’re not sure whether it will ever be the same again. You’ve heard enough apologies, forgiven too much. You can’t forget all the things that have happened. …
Once you’ve gotten in touch with your feelings and values, you realize that you are hurt. The next step, if you took the path towards healing, is to renounce revenge. …
At some point someone may have said, or maybe you just thought it: You’re just being a big baby. Let’s take a look and see if that’s really the case.
There goes that word just. Be suspicious whenever anyone uses the word just. But, even if we get rid of…
So far, you’ve been bearing right on the road to reconciliation. There’s a good reason for this. To the left are all the hazards that come from not taking your injuries seriously enough: becoming an Impossible Martyr, a Denier, or a Discount Pardoner. You have gotten in touch with your…
To stay on the Road to Reconciliation, and not drive off over the cliffs on either side, you first must acknowledge your hurt, then set it aside. You must recognize that you were a victim, but don’t play the victim. Avoid forgiving cheaply, but don’t be such a fool that…
I’m glad I didn’t decide to be an experimental psychologist. If I had, I might’ve had to lock dogs up in cages and shock them for the sake of science. As it is, others can do it and we can benefit from the things they learned by doing so.
Once you’ve acknowledged that someone you love has hurt you, next comes the difficult decision of what to do about it. Some of the people you meet in the Road to Reconciliation think they’ve found a short cut. …
Is the hurt you are experiencing from your loved one providing the meaning and purpose to your life?
Your life needs meaning and purpose. It makes your life worthwhile; it indicates your existence matters. That’s important. Sometimes, it’s the only thing that keeps you going. …
One type you’ll see on the side of the road to reconciliation are the Deniers. You’ll see them, but they won’t see you. They’re blind, deaf, and insensible to touch. They only know what they want to know, what’s convenient to them, what fits in the worldview they feel they…
