If you and someone you love have hurt one another and you’ve done your part to address your share of the problem, you might be wondering, what about the harm that was done to me? When will my partner take responsibility for what he’s done? Can’t he and I work…

You can control these factors, but don’t attempt to control the people. — Some places are therapeutic, meaning they bring out the best in people; others bring out the worst. If you need an example of those that consistently bring out the worst, think of a maximum-security prison, a busy highway, the cafeteria of a middle school, or the parents’ bleachers at a…

The Art of War, that classic work of Chinese literature, written in the 5th century BC and attributed to the ancient Chinese military strategist Sun Tzu, is packed with good advice on marriage, although marriage is never once mentioned. It is only one who is thoroughly acquainted with the evils…

With addiction, there is much grey area between sick and well — I’d like to chew over Carl Erik Fisher’s book, The Urge: Our History of Addiction. Fisher is an addiction psychiatrist, bioethicist, and assistant professor of clinical psychiatry at Columbia University. The book presents the history of the concept of addiction and our response to it, paired with his personal history…

When you’re finally done apologizing and making amends, you probably don’t want to have to do that again. You won’t want to make that mistake one more time. You’ll want to keep those problems away. So, listen to your lookout. He’ll tell you if they ever start coming around. The Mountaintop Moment The First Step Towards Reconciliationmedium.com When…

All too many people apologize and promise to change, but fail to follow it up. Not only do they fail to fulfill their promises, but they even fail to notice whether they’ve fulfilled them or not. When you make your formal apology, admit your mistakes, work out how to make…

Make your apology and do it right and you’ll be less likely to need to do it again. — If you’ve decided you can’t apologize to the person you hurt because it would hurt him more, then go with God. If you’ve decided you can’t apologize to the person you hurt because it would hurt you more, then see you in Hell. But, if you’ve decided you will apologize…

And my take on Dr Melfi and Tony Soprano — The best idea I’ve had about how to conduct psychotherapy, I got from visiting my allergist. Whenever I have tears in my eyes during a session, it might be because of what the client was saying; sometimes I’m deeply moved, but probably my allergies were responsible. I once went to…